Saturday, November 12, 2011

An Attempt to Postpone Working on the Thesis

I love blog-hopping and reading about the lives of regular folks I don't even know.  Now, I read one that was very touching and true, I would say.  And the thing is, she was not talking about any drama, she was just simply narrating.  I was wondering why that blog had that impact on me - I felt like I knew her, I suddenly felt the urge to email her and just let her know how wonderfully she writes, and I found myself genuinely praying for her growing family and baby delivery (stalker mode: on).

Then, I realized I never write like that anymore.  

All I write about are things going on in my life, and not even the major ones at that.  I talk about the things I like, sure.  But I have stopped myself from talking about my dreams and innermost feelings.  I used to say that my blog was not meant for daily chronicles, but it has become such.

I've always been a reflective person, a very introspective one.  Friends know that I'm fond of talking about love, life, God, and stuff along that line.  That's true.  But now, to be honest, I guess there's a part of me that wants to push that "drama queen" away.  I don't know - maybe it's my form of defense, or my desperate try to not add any more seriousness in this world.  Or, maybe I'm just scared to go all out and put my vulnerability out there.  Yeah, it's the third...

But in truth, I really am a serious person.  And as I read a couple of my entries, I think I'm not sending that image at all.  I miss that image.

Going back to that blog I've read, I am inspired now to immortalize the rather regular days, by being honest and bold with my emotions.  I won't be scared to be judged, or to be branded as a "drama queen".  Hey, I'm used to that term anyway.

Well, it's just a shame that now that I'm about ready to pour out whatever it is in me and open the gates, I have to put a period on this little episode and start working again on my paper (which has no tiny space for any emotion).  How ironic!

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